"Six Degrees of Megan Follows"
Araxi Arslanian

Despite the chronic teachings of my Irish-Catholic mother to the contrary, this reviewer must admit to counting her chickens before they were hatched. She leapt before she looked, assumed before she confirmed, poked an arrogant finger at the eye of the Fates.

Ah. The embarrassment.

It because of you, Gentle Readers, that this is so. Four years of theatre writing in Edmonton have availed me of many things. Chats with muckety-mucks. Java-rendezvous with local talent as they endeavor to decipher art. Attendance at some of the most exciting theatre productions this town has seen. All peppered with the occasional Robert Lepage wannabe obsessed with the sound of his own voice and the lint of his navel.

Four years. That's enough to get a degree in-- well. Something impressive.

But Gentle Readers, that kind of thinking is naught but pure ego. And rightfully, mine has been given a proper stripping down.

For when I heard the news that renowned actor Megan Follows would be coming to Edmonton to play Desdemona i n the Citadel's production of Othello, I thoughtlessly presupposed that I would get an audience. I brazenly told anyone who would listen how I was soon to be in the presence of the rarest of phenomena in this country.

A star.

In an industry that casts women not by talent but by millimetres, Megan Follows represents more than just beauty. Strength, intelligence and a fearlessness to control her own destiny-- hopping from the mega-hierarchy of the Stratford Festival to independent film, documentaries-- Follows has never rested on her laurels. She simply hasn't had time. Her focus, it seems, has always been on creating artistic truth by constantly challenging herself with different projects.

I was giddy at the possibility of chatting with such a person. I researched, came up with pithy questions, dreamt of the two of us laughing over lattes at Rigoletto's.

Then I made the call. A kind-hearted publicist had the unenviable job of delivering the bad news to someone who easily outweighed her by 80 lbs. Follows's agency, Oscars and Abrams, had restricted her to three pre-show interviews.

I had missed the boat.

It wasn't as if I could talk to her later. How many times has she had to endure the drooling gaze of patrons claiming to be her greatest fan? At least the interview would have cemented a kind of casual acknowledgment at the opening night soiree. A nod across the room, some cosmopolitan apathy over martini and cigarettes-- thinking like that now only promised to drive me mad. I opted to wallow in my own misery instead. I had missed my chance to be touched by Megan Follows forever. I was barren.

The human mind is a wonderful thing, however. The gloom spiral was short lived. For it was in the eerie glow of my den that I visited the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon home page. And it hit me like a lighting bolt.

I had been touched by Megan Follows! All I had to do was follow the logic of the "Kevin Bacon" game. Follows had played Juliet in Romeo and Juliet at the Stratford Festival in 1992. Antoni Cimolino was her Romeo. Antoni Cimolino later went on to assistant direct A Fitting Confusion at the Citadel in 1995. I was cast in that show and Cimolino gave me a schmooch for a job well done.

I've been kissed by Megan Follows! My heart sang with joy.

But why reserve this for my own selfish amusement? Why not show the world where the Follows connection has made its name?

For instance, Megan Follows and Roseanne. Follows played daughter to Martin Mull in the '80s sitcom Domestic Life. Mull later went on to play Roseanne's boss on the show.

Or the Megan Follows connection to hit show News Radio? Follows had a few scenes with David Foley in Anne of Green Gables: The Sequel. It also counts as a connection to Saturday Night Live, as Foley wrote for the show.

Her connection to The Sound of Music? That's easy. Follows played opposite Amanda Plummer in Under The Piano. Amanda's father Christopher played the dashing Heir Von Trapp.

If that doesn't impress you, what about a Follows connection to Demi Moore? Follows has been shooting a new series in Halifax, Major Crime, a dramatic story of cops trying to bring a child molester to justice. Demi Moore shot a movie near Halifax, The Scarlet Letter, a pathetic story of Moore trying to justify her acting career. Okay, that's a bit of a stretch. But any chance to purge about Moore's cataract acting.

But here's your turn to play, Gentle Readers-- can you find the Follows Connection to Sci-fi TV show Deep Space Nine? The answer next week.

Source: Vue Weekly